If you are anything like me, you sometimes crave a sense of purpose even more than you crave chocolate. You feel overlooked and unnecessary and just need some affirmation that you really are an amazing person and that what you do really does matter. The next time you feel like you have accomplished absolutely nothing, you look in the mirror and hate what you see, and you are convinced that the world is against you, try these tips:

1. Make a past “things to do” list.
I love the satisfaction of having a list and crossing things off, but sometimes we get caught up in the long list and feel discouraged that we will never get it all done. A good strategy is to recreate an old list. Think about the things you wanted to accomplish last year, last month or last week—and you did. Write down both the little things and the big things. Maybe you cleaned out the storage room, saved money for a vacation or tried a daring new recipe. Write them down and cross them all off. You’ll be surprised by how much you have actually accomplished!

2. Tackle a project you’ve been putting off.
Sometimes it is good to stop looking at the big picture and just take one piece at a time. Maybe you need to answer a backlog of emails from friends, weed the garden, mop the floors, or organize your video library. If you’re feeling like a failure, overwhelmed by everything you need to do, don’t look at the whole list—just choose one task for today and complete it. Then cross it off!

3. Call a buddy.
Become self-esteem buddies with a good friend. Chances are they already help you out in the area of image, but promise each other to really take the time to encourage each other in the little things. If she sees that you’re down and out, maybe she’ll remind you of what a fun person you are and recall hilarious times together. If you’re feeling fat, maybe she’ll remind you of the five pounds you’ve already lost. Then return the favor and encourage her in her own victories.

4. Forgive yourself.
Sounds easy, but sometimes low self-esteem is a result of our not being able to forgive ourselves. Maybe you blame yourself for not getting a promotion or for forgetting to give your child lunch money. Whatever the case, beating yourself down over it won’t change anything. Learn from your mistake, forgive yourself and move on.

5. Eat a piece of chocolate.
If the current self-esteem issue is body image, this may not be the best of choices, but many times chocolate really does help… when it’s in moderation. Some researchers have found that chocolate has a wonderful blend of compounds that makes us feel good. So if you need a little pick-me-up, a morsel of chocolate just might do the trick. 

6. Read motivational quotes.
Keep a book of quotations on a bedside table, or surf the Internet for quotes related to the emotions you’re feeling. Write the saying on a recipe card and hang it on the bathroom mirror or kitchen cabinet, any place where you will continue to see it throughout the day. Sometimes a crisp one-liner can capture the struggle and victory of whatever is bothering you, and the constant reminder can ingrain a positive message that will stick with you for a long time.

7. Turn up the radio.
For me, music has incredible healing power. Many times I have laughed or cried along with a song, drawing from the lyrics the strength I needed to keep on keeping on. You might need a thought-provoking song to put things into perspective or something more high energy to simply pump energy back into you. Try your favourite CD or turn up the radio for new lyrics and rhythms that might provide the spark you need.

8. People watch.
Go to the mall or take a walk down a busy street and just watch other people. Sometimes when I am struggling with my own image, I find it comforting to just sit and watch other normal people. I think I just need to be reminded that not everyone out there looks like a movie star or fashion model.

I also watch and wonder what is going on in their lives and their hearts. Why aren’t they at work? How many kids do they have? Maybe they can’t have kids. Maybe they have horrible money problems or are working through relationship issues. Paying attention to the world around you will put your image back into perspective and encourage you that you’re not alone.

9. Write in a journal.
Maybe this is the most obvious—or, at least, the most recommended—solution. But it’s true: the journal is a great place for deep introspection. Write down how you’re feeling, brainstorm on why you might feel that way, rationalize if it even makes sense, and take time to laugh at yourself.

Seriously, once you start really thinking about the why and how of some of those feelings, there is a good chance you will realize things may be way out of perspective or perhaps even outright ridiculous. But if things aren’t so crazy and journaling makes you realize how real those feelings are, write out a game plan of what you can do to overcome feelings of low self-esteem, self-pity, anger or whatever it is you are struggling with. Set small goals for yourself and reward yourself when you meet them.

10. Give of Yourself.
Take time to think about the people you see every day: your spouse, your children, your friends, neighbors or the cashier at the checkout stand. Then do something nice for one of them. You could send an e-card or note saying how much you appreciate a co-worker, make your kids their favourite dinner or buy a flower and give it to the cashier. Focusing on someone else will brighten their day while also making you feel good about yourself.

So get out there and conquer your world. Then don’t forget to cross it off the list.

By Tammy Wood - Copyright Tammy Wood © 2005.